days in the end of year

Pernah kepikiran di jidat ndaru, kenapa beberapa hari penting di akhir tahun ini berurutan, coba ndaru kasih review sedikit ya. Tanggal 22 Desember, hari ibu, 25 Desember Natal, dan akhirnya tgl 1 Januari--Taon Baru se-dunia. Mungkin ini cman tinjauan ngaco a la ndaru ya, Cman semoga aja gacoran ndaru kali ini bisa menjadi sekedar pengantar buat permenungan dan perencanaan kita menjelang taon baru entar. Secara, biasanya kita bikin semacam list, apa2 aja yang mo kita bikin di taon 2009 eni. Resolusi2 yang mau kita capai dan rencana2 besar yang mungkin kita punya.

Tanggal 22 Desember kita memperingati Hari Ibu, apa sih hikmah yang bisa kita petik? Tentu saja buat lebih menghargai seorang ibu, lebih mencintai ibu, dan minimal pada tanggal entu kita bisa memperlakukan ibu kita mungkin dengan cara yang sedikit berbeda. Cium jidat beliau misalnya, ato ziarah ke pusara beliau buat temen2 yang ibunya udah berpulang. Menjadikan 22 Desember sebagai momentum buat kita, buat mencintai dan "melihat" ibu kita masing2. Bahwa kekmanapun jeleknya ibu kita, merekalah yang pernah mengandung kita selama 9 bulan, menyokong kita selama itu dan memberi kita kehidupan.

Dengan semangat akan cinta ibu itu, kita diajak merayakan natal pada tanggal 25 Desember. Bagaimana Bunda Maria, rela menjadi ibu seorang yang penuh kontroversi pada zamannya. Bagaimana Bunda Maria rela menderita dan melihat anaknya dibunuh di tiang salib. Di lain pihak, bagaimana kelahiran Sang Timur, Yesus Kristus di kandang yang bauk, dan gak ada nyaman2nya, bisa menjadi inspirasi buat kita, --khususnya umat nasrani-- untuk mau berkorban buat keadaan yang lebih baek, gak egois dan mau memperlakukan sesama kita manusia sebagaimana mestinya.

Pada akhirnya, sampailah kita pada tanggal 31 Desember, detik2 menjelang pergantian tahun yang mungkin bisa kita isi dengan sebuah permenungan, sudahkah kita meng-hikmati dua hari dalam bulan Desember itu? Ato 2 hari itu cman menjadi hari senin dan kemis? Itu baru 2 hari, belon hari2 di sepanjang tahun yang mestinya banyak hari raya dan peringatan yang bisa kita bikin titik balik buat peziarahan hidup kita, terutama yang jelek2. Di pergantian tahun baru kita diajak untuk membuat target, resolusi, dan rencana2 yang pastinya bikin hidup kita lebih settle, lebih steady. Baek bila resolusi2 dan rencana2 kita itu kita imani dan kita susun berdasarkan 2 peringatan tadi. Sehingga, kita menjadi manusia yang mau memanusiakan manusia laen. HOREEEEEE TAHUN BARU......!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gambar terculik dari sini lho

being different

Yesterday, my friend told me a story that touched me deeply. He had been with a beautiful Chinese girl whom he met in his Senior High School for four years. He told me how he really loved the girl so much, as his eyes sparked brightly when his mouth said the name of the girl. He told me how the girl touched his life with a bunch of miracle. Being loved, perhaps, is the happiest time for him. Yet, the love did not go like the way they dreamt of. At the first time, the girl’s parents couldn’t accept a young Bataknese man in their daughter’s life. As true Chinese, they only wanted Chinese male for her. But, slow but sure, the girl’s parents started to open their heart for my friend. It is beautiful, isn’t it?

My friend and his girl thought everything was okay then. But, they were totally wrong. The girl’s parents changed their mind and warned the daughter not to have any contact with her boyfriend. Perhaps, they finally realized that their daughter was so stupid because for million men in this world, she couldn’t find any single Chinese male to be her boyfriend. My friend, later, came to her house, trying to talk to the girl’s parents. He was there for three days. In the first day, he was sent out of the house without any polite words. My friend, then, went to the gas station for staying at night. The second day happened like the first day and ended in the gas station (again). The third day was a bit different. My friend went back to the gas station with a lot of bruise, as the girl’s parents sent a few people to thrash him. The girl couldn’t do anything and gave up.

My friend went back to Salatiga with not only physical wound but also deep-down-pain. But, after all, he said that he did not have any revenge to the girl’s parents. He understood that he couldn’t be Chinese, as the requirement to be accepted. And he still loved the girl so much though she left him for her parents. Yet, my friend asked me, “Is it wrong to be different?”

Yes, is it wrong to be different? Is it wrong to be born as Javanese? Is it wrong to be born as black? Is it wrong to be poor? Is it wrong to work only as labor?

People start to fool their existence because of the differences among them. Of course people are different. Can you imagine if all people in the entire earth have the same white skin, straight hair, black eyes, and pointed nose? Then, how can you differentiate people by their names if they are all the same? People themselves who group themselves into certain groups. Some people proclaim themselves as Bataknese, others are European, another is African, and the others are Chinese. Does the God group human beings into those names?

Perhaps, grouping is a natural character of human beings. But, this character has blinded the strength to use conscience and moral to respect others and to see others as human beings, in stead of animals. Being certain tribe or race is a big proud, making people consider other tribes or races are only a single dot among the lines. Earning much money is like earning everything in the earth, making people think that they can do anything to others. Staying at certain social status seems like being the best people in the world.

People tend to attach certain label to others by using the measurements that are based on the silly things. It often happens when meeting somebody else, the questions will be “Where do you work?”, “Where are you from?”, “Are you Javanese?”, “What subject are you taking?”. And, when the answers are “I work in a small company next to my house”, “I am from Klaten”, “No, I am not Javanese. I come from Flores”, “I am studying literature”, people will just be silent. It is different when the answers are “I work at Telkom”, “I am from Jakarta”, “I am half-Javanese and half-German”, “I am studying Medical”. I believe people will be amazed.

Such labels have neglected the ability to see others as a figure that is not only an individual with his or her character, but more as human beings.

I guess, Christmas always reminds us to relfect what we have done for the whole year, especially how we have been with others. Have we given them the best smile, the true friendship, and the warmest hand? Or, perhaps, we only gave them disasters? Is calling somebody in the middle of the night continually okay? Is terrorizing somebody else using so many numbers and names okay? Is commenting others negatively okay?

We are human beings. Act like human, treat others as human.

simbok,mami, mama, ibuk, enyak, mother

Inget gak hari ini hari apa?--22 desember-- hari ibu cuy...yep, keknya pengabdian seorang ibu layak diganjar dengan sebuah hari buat mereka. Kekmana para wanita merelakan tubuh indah mereka menjadi buncit kek semar bengkak, dan bertaruh nyawa melahirkan kita. Hanya buat mengkumplitkan kodrat mereka sebagai seorang wanita.

Setiap kita didunia ini pastilah anak dari seorang ibu, bahkan seekor bekantan pun laer jg dari ibu, semua makhuk hidup punya ibu, kecuali Gundala, yang kata orang anak petir--kekmana ya petir klo pas mengandung??-- So, ada pertanyaan yang asik buat direnungkan, apa yang udah kita buat buat ibu kita tercinta? Ato kita kek Malin Kundang yang duraka n gak mau ngakuin ibunya? ya mungkin gak secara explisit ya, tapi toh kita juga kadang musti ngaku, klo toh kita sering nipu ibu kita cman demi duit 5rebu perak. Minimal itu yang ndaru rasain pas dulu pengin banget minum es doger. demi sebungkus es doger ndaru rela menukar kasih sayang mami ke ndaru.

Penyesalan ndaru makin menjadi ketika abis minum es doger, ndaru demam, jidat ndaru brasa kek bisa buat nyeplok telor. Betama mami semaleman nungguin ndaru yang gak bisa molor gara2 demam tinggi. Keadaan seperti mensetting mami biar bisa menunjukan kasih sayang seorang ibu ke ndaru. Ndaru sebenernya tau bahwa badan ndaru gak tahan menerima perubahan suhu yang ekstrim. Mami udah bilang dan wanti2 buat gak minum es, eh ndarunya nekat.

Itu cman sekuku hitam dari cerita pengabdian seorang ibu kepada anak2nya. Yang kadang kita anak2nya lupa untuk balas mengabdi pada ibu kita. Emang mungkin ibu kita kolot dan kadang suka pengin anaknya menjadi kek yang dia pengin, tapi toh dari situ masih terbersit sebuah mimpi dari si ibu biar anaknya menjadi lebih baek daripada dia sendiri.

selamat hari ibu...miss u my mami!!......................and babe.

grandpa

Eni terjemahan Ndaru dari tulisan temen deket Ndaru yang mengalami gojag-gajeg ke Opungnya. Ndaru tulis berdasarkan kesaksian dia, semoga bisa dibuat panglimbang2 buat kita smua. Udah dapet ijin kok :)

What is grandpa? He is my dad's father. This is the simple structure to be undertaken. But, watching him in his sleep yesterday had brought me into a very deep thinking of what we have been through for almost 23 years I am here. I know him as my dad's father, an old man who was charming in his age, a father of six children who successfully sent them to university, a father who lost his only daughter, and a man with much honor, at least in his closest surrounding. He is a hard worker, with a great determination to his work. He is a man who believes in what he can do.

Yet, he is also a man with too much pride, the most stubborn man I have ever met. Perhaps, if he could, he would have climbed the Everest Mountain only to say "I am a man". He crowns himself the center of the-home-everything. As a husband, he dominates all positions at home, placing my grandma in the second line. A marriage expert said, a couple should be partners. But, my grandma, frankly, does not earn much appreciation from her husband for all things she has done. My grandpa complains much when he does not get things exactly like he wants. When my grandma cannot provide him the lunch he wants, my grandpa considers it as intolerable. He thinks a wife should do anything to her husband, without any reflection of what I have given to my wife. As a father, he does the job well, including sending all of the children to university, but often he is ignorant. I remembered my dad told me a story about his childhood; how his father even did not understand to buy him uniform.

Yes, I blame him for his ignorance and idiot behavior as a husband and father. I blame him for making my father to be weirdo. And I hate his inconsistency and low quality of being a husband and father. My grandpa left my grandma and his two sons, including my dad, twice, to be with a woman next-door. I realize how much he hurt my dad. My grand grandma once told me that after left by his father, my dad lived with her and often they had to eat corn in stead of rice. Even though they reunited as family, my grandpa did not give much attention to my dad. He started to complete his level as a father when my aunt was born later. Lucky her! She had the real father then.

And, yesterday, my grandpa changed into a spoiled boy who could not do anything to face heart attack and acute lung infection. I heard him complained much; that it hurts, he wants to breathe normally, or he wants to go home. Three years ago when he got his first heart attack, he was warned not to smoke anymore. But, as a man who believes in what he can do, he continued smoking and continually said "I will be fine".

My dad was there with my grandpa. I saw him crying when he met his father in the ICU. I watched them closely; how my dad got the food for my grandpa, how he took care of him, and how he continually ensured him that he would be fine. The pain had gone when my dad found his father dying.

My mind went into my childhood. My grandpa often brought me to see his rice fields and let me play in the river. Oh, I still remembered when he brought me to his school using the grey vespa. He let me sit in the front paddle then bought me some snack. Sometimes we also went fishing together. Later, when I left his house he would give me money. He always said, "Buy some books then". Learning from my grandpa's mistakes, my dad tried to be a better father for me and my sister. Yes, he IS a good father, but he is not a good man. I do understand that everything he does is only for giving me the best. However, I am not a robot that can be controlled everytime. I will choose my own path when I am ready, but I will love both my grandpa and my dad for the whole of my life, no matter how hurt it is.

gambar diculik dari sini

People

We live side by side with people. You cannot count for sure how many faces you meet everyday. Each second you step your feet, you'll meet people. When you turn your head to the left you find people. You do so when your eyes explore the right side. Perhaps, you have a chance to run away from your surroundings, visiting a remote island in the edge of the earth. There are just you and your shadow; they are just you! But still, you meet people in the whole journey. Though you are only all alone in your room, you still find people in the television, magazine, or newspaper.

Yes, we live with human beings that are, socially, legalized to be called people. Each of them is unique, having their own personality and character. Often, we get messed of them, discovering that not all people are good people. Some people come to you because they really want to treat you as you yourself. You may also find the people who only leave scars in your heart, but many people touch your heart deeply. Another are only critiquing your existence; why you act like this, why you choose that one, why you do this, or why you don't do that. Others debate your quality because you DO NOT share the same way with theirs.

Perhaps, having the people who grant pain is much more relieving, because we learn from the pain itself. At first, we might be down but in the end we wake up to be tougher, to look at the plus-things, and to give thanks for the lessons. But, the anger fulfills the entire body when having to face the people who only come for arguing, debating, critiquing, commenting, and all things dealing with talking-actions. They are always being there; watching you from the head-top until your toe. They are waiting for every single thing you do, then for the rest of the time comment on your this and that, and continue their speech by bombarding you with the 5Ws+H questions.

Their words are like the dress you do not like most because they do not suit on you, but, they insist saying that that is the way you are. You do not realize that they are around, as they do much effort to know you closer, even do some ridiculous things such as telephoning you in the middle of the night by using so many numbers. But still, they become the other people in the morning by saying big hi to you. You do not know where you should put these people in your place, because they are too much to be looked at, but too precarious to be ignored.

Finally, in the end of your disappointment, you realize that these kinds of people should be here for making you much tougher rather than facing those who leave scars. Perhaps, they are just deadhead, because they do not know how to treat others, or they are just cold fish who use their standard to be the almighty tool to socialize with others. Above all, they are still people.

Merdeka

Yang namanya orang hidup pasti dong, berinteraksi dengan sesama manusia di dunia ini, yah namanya aja makhuk sosial. Tentu saja dalam bergaul dan bersosialisasi ini kita banyak ketemu orang, baek yang menyebalkan maupun yang baek, juga ketemu dengan aturan2 dan norma2 yang mengatur kita biar gak kek babi lepas, semrawut, dan masih banyak lagi kompromi2 yang musti kita temui dalam keajaiban kecil yang disebut peziarahan hidup ini.

Aturan2 yang kita temui juga kadang membuat kita mengernyitkan dahi dan bikin mules perut. Pernah dong nonton bioskop ke cineplex 21,na disitu ada aturan/tulisan NO OUTSIDE FOOD AND DRINKS. Yang artinya klo diterjemahin secara bebas adalah kita gak boleh membawa makanan ato minuman dari luar. Dulu jaman masih baru, ndaru klo nonton suka dipriksa ma embak/mas petugas jaga tiketnya.*gak tau skarang masih kekgitu pa engga*. Trus makanan & minuman kita disuruh nitipin ke konter penitipan barang. Dulu sih ndaru ndableg alias muka tembok, makanan dititipin, tapi pas aus/laper kluar bentar minum di penitipan barang hihihihi. Apakah pelarangan itu emang dimaksudkan buat mengharamkan orang buat makan di dalem bioskop? ENGGAK KAN? Soalnya, yang beli minum+makan di 21 cafe boleh membawa makanan ke bioskop. Ya emang kita gak dipaksa buat beli di situ ya. Tapi bayangin aja, liat film dengan durasi 1,5-2 jam ato klo film india bisa 2,5 jam, di ruangan ber-AC yang dingin dan kering pasti bikin kita aus dan bawaannya pengin ngemil kan? Jadi boleh dong kita menyimpulkan bahwa aturan kekgini membatasi kebebasan kita buat makan apa yang pengin kita makan. Terlepas dari harga makanan+minuman di kafe 21 yang kadang gak masuk akal.

Kemarin, kalender internasional memperingati hari HAM internasional. Banyak sebenernya kasus2 pelanggaran HAM yang terjadi dan menemui jalan buntu karena musti berurusan dengan otoritas yang lebih besar. Di sekitar kita juga kadang kita menemui pelanggaran2 HAM. Ya mungkin ndaru terlalu mendramatisir ya. Tapi coba deh kita mikir lagi. Sudahkah kita bebas dari rasa takut? Sudahkah kita bebas dari rasa jengkel dan mangkel gara2 orang laen bertindak semena2 dan seenak jidat ke kita?Emang sih smua prasaan2 itu datengnya dari hati kita masing2. Tapi tentunya ada dong penyebab kenapa kita merasa takut, kenapa kita merasa gak tenang. Dan memang *lagi* kita toh mpe dipendem di kuburan gak bakal 100% bisa menghilangkan prasaan takut, cemas, dan was2 karena perbuatan orang itu. Tapi toh yaaaa...minimal klo kita idup di lingkungan yang aman nyaman dan bersahabat, kita bisa sejenak tidur nyenyak tanpa terbangun dari dering miscall HP yang tak bernomor alias Calling....No Number.

PS: keknya asik ya klo provider2 SIM Card itu memberlakukan kebijakan yang gak mengijinkan pelanggan mereka untuk menyembunyikan nomor HP mereka saat menelpon.

--selamat memperingati hari HAM Internasional--
10 Desember

pic di culik dari sini

tiny little pieces

Kemaren ndaru baca2 artikel di blog si del, disitu ada rekaman dialognya mulder si jagoan X-Files, intinya sih klo yang ndaru tangkep --maap ya del klo salah-- adalah ketidakberdayaan kita sebagai manusia untuk mengubah dunia menurut idealisme kita. Banyak masalah2 dan isu2 di sekitar kita yang emang menuntut kita buat lebih sabar dan mau menerima isu2 sebagai bagian dari peziarahan hidup kita.

Dan betapa artikel si del ini menyadarkan ndaru, bahwa selama ini ndaru berkutat dengan idealisme hidup a la ndaru, ndaru membanting tulang dan memeras ingus biar kehidupan yang ndaru jalanin ini berjalan kek yang ndaru pengin. Tapi yaaaa......hehe we Just small little unimportant being in this entire world, a spot in the universe. ya del ya?? Manusia toh cman bisa berencana, setelah itu ya serahkan ma yang diatas, karena kadang hidup gak perduli ma apa yang kita rencanakan, dan tangan kita terlalu kecil buat merubah keadaan menjadi kek apa yang kita pengin.

Mungkin ndaru bakal hidup dengan teror2 sms mesra, dan miscall2 tengah malam, PM2 dari orang2 di negeri antah berantah yang suka maksa minta poto di FS dan berbagai ketidaknyamanan yang laen. Tapi ya itulah hidup, baek bila kita masing2 bisa bertanya ke diri kita sendiri, apa hak kita?..apa hak kita buat memaksakan idealisme kita? apa previlege kita buat me-miscall orang laen? dan masih banyak lagi tentunya, menurut keadaan yang ada. Demikian sebaliknya ndaru, apa hak kita buat membalas orang yang udah menjahati kita? atas dasar otoritas mana kita bisa ngirim virus ke orang2 nyebelin yang sibuk dengan pemikiran mereka tentang kita?

Jadi ya klo menurut ndaru sih, gak ada salahnya kita melakukan sesuatu buat sebuah kondisi yang lebih baek, tapi toh ya..tahu kapan musti berhenti, karena mungkin lengan kita gak cukup besar buat melakukan itu.